I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
