i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
