Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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