what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
