Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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