To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
time to smoke my breakfast
Acid is not a monday night drug
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
