Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize