booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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