arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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