sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
