Can i not drive my cunt home
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
