My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize