Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
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