I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The ass gains better be worth it
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