She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
