I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
