hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
