thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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