is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
