It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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