I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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