Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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