I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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