I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
