Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He felt like a one man threesome
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
