it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
