It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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