I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize