I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
