I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
