i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
