nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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