Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
