Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
