This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
