I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
