If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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