I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
