apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
