Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
