i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
