The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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