terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
