She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
