Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
