I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
