My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
