oh god the rape fog is back!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
