Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
