ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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