I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
