I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
