hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
