Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
