I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
