after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
