i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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