Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
