He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
