I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
