It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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