the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize