she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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