Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
