just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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