I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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