I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
